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When we arrived, we carried the children upstairs and waited in a small waiting room. When our name was called, we brought all three children into an examining room. The doctor spoke kindly to the children and listened to their hearts. She then instructed us to take the children one by one into the next room, where they would have blood drawn. R took the first child in while I waited in another room. I was not allowed to be in the room during the blood test because I was not wearing rubber gloves. R brought the first child back out and he displayed a large gauze pad wrapped around his hand. He was screaming and shaking; clearly traumatized from the blood test. The frightened reaction kept up with all three children; however neither R nor the nurses tried to comfort them.

We got into the car and drove back to the baby house. J screamed the entire way back and R made a point to tell me that the reason J was screaming was because I had held her too much that particular morning. When we arrived, we brought the children back upstairs and I was told I could go home.

The entire situation seemed confusing and overwhelming to me. I was shocked that the orphanage staff trusted me to leave the building with the children, especially since it was my first day. Because the language barrier was somewhat of a problem, I had difficulty understanding where it was that we were going and why it was so important that I come along.

The worse part of the trip was being told that it was my fault that J was crying. It seemed that R did not understand how traumatic it was for the children to not only have blood work done, but also travel in a car and leave the orphanage. I had no idea whether or not the three children were routinely taken outside and in cars, or whether that was their first trip out. Either way, I was sickened that no one paid attention to calming their fears.

I found out later that all the children from group 8 were taken to the clinic to have blood work completed. Knowing that answered my questions about why J was the only one from group 8 who was taken. I was worried that J was being tested for HIV or another disease, and that thought had me very upset.

After speaking with Sasha, she also seemed quite surprised that the staff allowed me to leave the building with the children. However, she was not surprised that the children were not put in car seats or soothed after they had the blood work done at the clinic.

My frustrations from the event come from seeing the way children from the baby house are not protected and cared for in a way that feels humane. Although I understand that the standard of living in Russia is lower than that of America, I cannot help but be appalled by the thought of a 12 month-old sitting in a car without a car seat or seat belt. I was also extremely saddened to watch the children be whisked away for the blood tests and not comforted by anyone around them. The children were expected to remain silent and were reprimanded when they cried. I could only think about how fortunate I was to be with the children at that moment, as I provided comfort and affection to them while they cried.

Unfortunately, I am going to have to find ways to separate myself from growing too attached to the children. Since there are 150 children in the home, it is imperative that I set personal boundaries, both physically and emotionally, so that I am not overextending myself in a way that could potentially become unhealthy for me and the children.

The theory that first comes to my mind when I try to comprehend all that I have seen during the last two weeks is Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. The children seem to have shut down and stopped functioning the way normal children do, because of the way their needs are not being met. In Human Behavior and the Social Environment, we learned that if the most basic needs of a child are never met, the child can never reach his or her full potential and self-actualize.

There are several ways that the children’s needs are not being met. To start, the children are on such tight routines that their feeding and changing times only come three times a day. This means that even if a child is hungry or sitting in a soiled diaper, crying gets them nowhere. The children are also denied age-appropriate toys that do not enable proper development. There is one large bucket of old toys that the children get to play with, although there are not enough for each child. The toys consist of rattles, balls, plastic rings and squeaky toys. The children seem to fight over the “best” toy and there is always one child who is left frustrated and without a toy.

The children are also conditioned to become aggressive. The attitude within the group is the survival of the fittest. Even children who are not aggressive by nature become violent, doing things like biting, scratching and hitting. Without proper supervision, the children are left to fend for themselves, which is difficult in a group of one to two year-olds.

I am learning that because the children have so many needs, it is crucial that I try and meet their most basic and obvious needs. Among others, that means picking up a child when they fall over and cry, touching a child while they play with me and responding positively when they initiate appropriate contact with me. 

If I was asked to return to the clinic to accompany children receiving shots and/or blood work, I would bring things with me that would comfort them, such as a toy or blanket that is familiar to them. Because most of the situation is out of my control and I am only given certain rights with the children, there is little that I can do to change how the doctors and other staff treat the children when they are at the hospital.

If it seems possible or appropriate and I feel that my Russian skills are adequate enough to convey this, I would like to speak with R about developmental models that I have learned throughout my education. Although I have a very western mindset and R clearly displays a Russian view of development, I feel it is worth trying to talk to her about why I believe that holding a child is healthy and necessary in their development. 

This issue is also one that I would like to speak with Sasha about, as she has experience working with Russians who do not hold a traditionally western mindset regarding child development. Sasha is also very familiar with the staff at Baby Home 16, so she may be able to speak with someone herself and explain why we cannot justify letting the children stay in their cribs all day. 

I know that I am only into my second week here, and I still have so much to learn. Above all, I need to keep in mind that I am a guest working in a foreign country. It is too soon to step on toes or be culturally insensitive about the way the staff run the orphanage. Hopefully I can find small ways to be effective in the beginning, and eventually see big things happen through my work with the children. Although I would love to change the entire infrastructure of the home, that is not what I came here to do. 

Lydia Troncale

2007 Volunteer